Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Goodbyes

My Peace Corps service officially ended on September 17, 2013.

Up until the last day at site, if anyone asked me if I was ready to go home the answer was "Hell Yes!" Thoughts of my family and friends, buffalo wings smothered in hot sauce, juicy hamburgers grilled to perfection, and cheese that didn't taste like erasers were increasingly taking over my brain. Sometimes I would snap out of these thoughts to find myself staring into space with drool creeping down my chin. But don't get me wrong. I was continuing to enjoy my last days at site and kept busy until the last minute. And as it turned out, leaving the Philippines was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do.



Alumni reuniting at my going away party in La Trinidad.
In the Philippines, it is common to hold "despedidas" or going away parties for friends leaving for an extended time. I decided that I would have two: one at site, and one in La Trinidad where I completed my Pre-Service Training. It was great to see my first host family for the last time, as well as say goodbye to friends that I had met during my first few months in the Philippines. Wonderful food was served on the rooftop of a friend's house, and the guitar was brought out and songs were sung. The greatest part of the evening was when many of my old students, who had graduated and chosen to pursue their studies in college, began showing up one by one to offer their farewells. It meant so much to me especially since some traveled as long as 8 hours to be there that night. 



One of the completed murals.
With two weeks to go, I decided to start wrapping up projects at site. My hair grew back. So much so that I let one of the students give me my final haircut. He did a great job! Values class went awesome. Students are no longer afraid of condoms and discussed other life-skills like prioritizing responsibilities, and their role as a responsible community citizen. Some even went out and planted pine trees! The murals were completed, and I cleared out my desk just in time to relax for the District Athletic Meet. After cheering on our athletes despite drizzly weather, I had two days to go and decided it was about time to start thinking about packing up things to go home. My final despedida was scheduled for Monday, the night before I would leave for Manila. Fitting two years of memories into two suitcases proved a challenge, but I was able to do it! Although I would have loved to bring Siglat back home with me, I arranged for my host family to keep him. He's so happy there and I'm sure I can trust them to care for him.


Getting ready to sing.
When I arrived to school Monday, I was surprised to see posters that the students had made, leading me all the way down to the school. The students prepared a few songs and games for our classes that morning with lots of picture taking. After lunch the entire school marched up to the community hall for a program with songs, dancing and playing of the gongs. The party was wrapped up with a raffle in which I gave away ALL of my belongings left in my apartment, from the frying pan to t-shirts to the bedroom mirror. Every student got a little piece of my life from the past two years to keep.


Playing the gongs! For the final time....

Raffling off my stuff

After the party, the teachers and some of the older students followed me back for dinner at my host family's house. It was a difficult night, saying goodbye for the final time and realizing the impact I had on the students, and the impact they had on me. I kept my composure until the following morning when my host family bid me farewell on the bus. I'm sure I made the Filipino sitting next to me very uncomfortable as he was forced to sit by this strange foreigner with tears streaming down his face. It dawned on me that I was leaving family and friends, just as close and important to me as those I have at home in the US.



Fourth Year 'Pearls' 
As volunteers, sometimes our biggest struggle is witnessing the lack of a tangible impact. After all, who doesn't want something to show for all their hard work? But sometimes, it's the relationships we build that are the biggest accomplishment. After two years, my greatest successes come from the students who have told me that I am the reason they didn't drop out of school, or am the one who inspired them to volunteer. Raising English test scores doesn't mean as much as hearing a students say that I am the one who boosted their confidence in speaking English and is now studying at a top university, or gave them the courage to confront their family problems.

The Peace Corps' slogan is "The hardest job you'll ever love." Now that I'm finished, I have to say that I agree completely. The last two years have been a roller coaster of emotions, testing my strength in about every aspect of my life. But the best part of the experience was discovering what I love. 


As the Pinoy escapade draws to a close, it makes me both nervous and excited as to what adventure life will lead me to next. This will be my final post. Thank you to everyone who has followed my experience for the last 27 months!


Until the next chapter,


-Matt





Senior students
Fourth year 'Diamond' students
The remaining cluster!